Enjoy your moments

I have been home from the walk three weeks now and it has been tough. I have missed the daily routine, the fresh air and scenery, meeting so many wonderful people along the way. Moving through life post-walk, I often think about those solitary days and hours alone on the coast, the resilience I had to muster, the realities I had to face, the kindness of strangers, the support of loved ones - it all lingers in my mind.

I have been busy since I returned, so many people have wanted to see me to congratulate me and ask about the walk. It has been fulfilling, cathartic and tiring, in equal measure. I have also been going to the gym every day as I want to maintain the fitness I have achieved in the lead up to and during the walk. But in spite of all this, I feel unspeakably lonely. I knew that my walk with all its planning and its duration were just delaying the inevitable, the start of the rest of my life without Anna... but suddenly here I am. It's done, mission complete, and I'm back in the house with only my memories.

Last week Anna's school held a memorial day for her. Current students, ex-students and teachers all attended. I talked about my walk at an assembly and then four students read their tributes to Anna. It was incredibly moving.

After the assembly we went outside where a memorial bench and olive tree were unveiled. Inscribed on the bench between two bumble bees, "Remembering Anna Brown" and her saying, "Enjoy your moments". There was a cake and clothes sale and the day raised £311 for my Sue Ryder JustGiving page. Thank you to everyone at Belmont School for holding such a special day in Anna's memory, I was moved to tears. During her time at Belmont Anna started 'The Daily Mile', a morning walk around the school grounds, to help the kids wake up and activate and get energised for the day. The bench sits at the front of the school along the path the kids will be walking everyday.

My daughter Alex and five-month-old granddaughter Lennie accompanied me to the memorial and then spent a few days with me which was lovely and much needed. While here Alex helped clear out some space in Anna's wardrobe. It was probably the most upsetting week for me since the funeral. I know it needed to be done but seeing her beautiful clothes, that I remember her in, being taken away was heart breaking. I of course kept a few, and most have been boxed and moved to the shed where my son Max can look through them we he's next in the UK.

I have been back to my bereavement counsellor and also to a grief session with other people who have lost loved ones. I don't know how much it helps, but I will continue to go. I am told time is a healer but six months on and I feel no relief from the pain.